All is subjective and perception, find your own path, this is simply a guide, may it help you grow.

CONTENTS

SECTION ONE: THE SPIRITUALITY OF DRACONITY/OTHERKIN
DISCLAIMER
Draconity and Otherkin FAQ's, A place to start.
What is otherkinism?
I have always been different.
I have always been normal but feel different now, what is happening?
I have memories of being a dragon, or other being.
I don't have memories of being a dragon or whatever, but feel like such..
I know I am a dragon, or whatever, but have no memories.
Spiritual names and identity in regards to otherkinsim.
Theory on commonalities of otherkin forms

Controversial incarnations and belief, spirit is energy, there is infinite potential.
Web Links and Online Resources for Dragonkin

Section TWO: THE SOCIAL IMPLICATIONS OF DRACONITY/OTHERKIN
Should I tell my friends and family that I am a dragon or otherkin?
How can I reconcile this new aspect of myself with who I am?
I live in a religious family, or am a faithful person, how do I know I am not simply possessed?
A prayer tip for reconciling your present existence with the possibility of otherkinism for those who may actively participate in a strict religion or within a belief system that inherently disagrees with the idea of otherkinism.
I want to relate to otherkin more, or have more dragon stuff, writings art, etcetera, but my family and friends would never accept such, what do I do?
Find your own path, your own truth, and make your own way.
Responsibility of being dragonkin or otherkin.
Otherkinism is not a game.

SECTION THREE: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF DRACONITY/OTHERKIN
Being a dragon or otherkin.
Traits that I have noted regarding otherkin.
What are the warning signs that I may be taking this to far.
Understanding of inherent humanity

A brief essay on otherkin memories.
Homesick for old life.
I have phantom limbs and crap, is this good or bad, normal or off?
Draconity, and the superiority complex, king of dragons, dragon god, etcetera, truth or ego?
Spiritual aspects of oneself manifesting through artistic expression prior to the manifesting in the heart and mind.
The importance of nature and relaxation.
The importance of art and creativity.
I believe I have incarnated into many forms, and lives, dragons, dolphins, you name it, am I different?
Music and Otherkin.
Otherkin Psychology, relating to the familiar, a calling for your kind.
Channeling the draconic mind and body, a mental exercise for self affirmation and spiritual growth.
Psychological alternative to being otherkin.
DragonKin/Otherkin: A Healthy Skepticism
-SUB Section-
Head Mates, Gaurdians, Tulpa's & Disassociative Entities
So I happen to have some spirit guides / head mates?
Head mates, spirit guides, bonded souls and tuplamancing.
Psychological and introspective alternatives to head mates.

SECTION FOUR: USEFUL ADVICE FOR DRAGONKIN/OTHERKIN.
Regarding The Pursuit of Draconity and Otherkin Beliefs.
Regarding Metaphysics.
Regarding Life In General.

SECTION FIVE: ADDENDUEMS- Jafira's Otherkin Advice Letters
Am I Otherkin?
Can I be Otherkin if I have no memories?
Being Otherkin, It's okay to doubt
On Memories and past mates
Methods to Connect To Spirit
Otherkin Moderation - Personal Introspection
Otherkin Moderation#2 - Maintaining A Balanced View
Regarding Otherkin Shifting
My personal meditation method
Why I am skeptical of Fictionkin

SECTION SIX: Conclusion and Thanks.

END TABLE OF CONTENTS
Last Edit: July, 2018

“May you fly on dragon wings and may spirit guide your path”

As a few of my recent writings here have been written with the ulterior motive of attacking or discouraging fictionkin. I figured I would just come right out and say how I felt instead. Yes, I consider myself to be hostile towards the concept of fictionkin for a variety of personal and subjective reasons, the main ones being a familiarity bias and an experiential bias.

I consider myself to be dragonkin through reincarnation, I had experienced most of my initial awakening while still quite young in the early 90's and without the aid of the internet, left to my own introspection I had come to the conclusion that reincarnation was the most rational explanation as to how I could perceive myself to be a dragon in all but a physical form. Later when I discovered the otherkin community in the late 90's and early 2000's I had found that my own conclusions seemed to have had a valid consensus among my peers in the community, in a sense back then it was the norm. That is not to say psychological otherkin did not exist, but their beliefs generally consisted of well thought out self understandings and typically had an archetypal basis of sorts.

During the time that I discovered and came to know the general otherkin community any fictionkin that exist were often relegated to the realm of fluff and were typically challenged and questioned into exile. I personally begun to drift away from the community around 2008'ish but at the time that I had left, cultural views on otherkin still seemed generally unchanged, although opinions were straying more towards an agnostic understanding and into a less spiritual direction as my peers aged and matured. Still, as if I was frozen in a time capsule for eight years I left and did not choose to grow and mature with the overall community. So, now, as I'm returning from a nearly eight year hiatus I have found that a lot of what I see on tumblr appears very foreign and unorthodox to me.

Secondly, my girl friend and soon to be wife was formally what is now known as fictionkin, when I had first met her she proudly had the character Inuyasha as a head mate and she'd typically front him on a daily basis. However, never once did she consider herself to be “Kin” because of him. Rather, it was more like some form of LARP'ing for her, but also, so much more as it was an emotional connection of being able to connect to a character and universe that she identified with. Even still, for her there was still a basic understanding that she was not this character at heart and eventually she matured and moved on from her ability to channel and to front Inuyasha.

On the other hand, otherkin identities as I grew to know them in the past were something that you were typically born with, had suspected on an inherent personal level or had some form of inner knowing of. It wasn't something simply to be triggered by an anime or a cartoon, it was inherently known or suspected long before such a trigger and once discovered, ones otherkin identity could have the potential to last as a part of ones personality through the course of their lifetime. That is why I do not consider most fictionkin to be “legit” as it where, I have no problem with their existence, I just want my word back. I'm more comfortable as fictionkin identifying with a form of copinglink perhaps, but not as “Kin” or at least not by the traditional understanding of the term.

Lastly and probably the biggest reason that I get infuriated by the idea of Fictionkin is due to subjective personal reasons attributable only to myself. I personally awakened as a dragon at roughly the age of ten, I am presently thirty two years of age as I write this, that means that I have had to deal with the emotional consequences of my draconic awakening over the course of twenty two long years, the first six of those years I had no access to the internet and so had no way of knowing that I wasn't the only person on Earth going through that type of identity crisis, I was convinced that I was insane but there was nothing I could do to resist my inner knowing and therefore there was no way for me to fight my insanity without being miserable..

You can not possibly know how terrifying that was, to be a kid in the 90's and knowing in your heart and soul that you felt and saw yourself as something impossible to be, with absolutely no way of knowing that you were not alone in that struggle. I would question and challenge myself everyday and I would cry myself to sleep every night. For me it was never some stupid identity or association game, I would have traded the world if that were possible, it wasn't something that I could just simply turn off or forget, it was an undeniable aspect of my mind and inner self which I couldn't escape from no matter how much I would try to run or hide from it. The sensations and a knowing that I was different and unnatural would not cease no matter how much I would cry out for them to stop. No matter what I tried growing up, my tears would never make me normal and to ignore the truth would always just bring more pain then acceptance. I was trapped by otherkin, it was never a choice, it was an undeniable yet irrational sense of self.

I spent my high school and college years suffering from phantom pains and species dysphoria so powerful and heart breaking that on every full moon I would travel out to the wilderness armed with every prayer and occult device imaginable in constant attempts to offer up my very soul to whichever gods or devil could possibly release me from the torment of my flesh and return me home to the life or body I so desperately missed. Being Otherkin was never fun for me, it was a constant fight, an unending emotional nightmare and a psychological struggle between heart and reality from which I could never seem to escape. How can a psychological otherkin understand fully that struggle? One of walking a balance between denying reality and denying self, or enduring the longings and pains for a body that possibly never existed, when by admission of their own self understanding they are only experiencing a temporary psychological association to a fictional creation?

In short, I don't like you using my suffix “kin”, I want my word back, it may not be such for others anymore, but otherkin was the closest thing to a faith that I ever had and I don't want to see the terminology watered down without a fight. To see that inner torment of my past being associated with somebodies temporary fictional identity or psychological fling enrages me. Being otherkin used to be something more permanent, inherent and emotionally consequential. Identifying as otherkin once brought hardships of identity, pains and longings that for example, my mate who was fronting and channeling Inuyasha in the past simply would have never gotten or understood, because when she was fronting Inuyasha she was not magically and suddenly “Kin”, rather she was something else, you name that something else if you wish, but she wasn't otherkin.

When I left the overall otherkin community around 2008'ish there was an understanding that one could not just watch How To Train Your Dragon and declare themselves a Nightfury, I could not watch MLP-FIM and suddenly declare myself to be a citizen of Canterlot without a fight. That type of thinking was beaten back and challenged in the past. I am now returning from a hiatus of several years to find a culture that to me is foreign and in some respects absolutely disgusting. It offends the memory of my past experiences, my past friendships, and my past understandings. In result, I consider myself to be hostile to fictionkin because prior to the rise of social media, to do so was common consensus. There is a reason why select otherkin refer to the community of otherkin on tumblr as “Tumblrkin” the overall culture and general understandings are foreign and unorthodox to the way things were once understood.

Again, I approach the entire otherkin concept primarily from a biased spiritual worldview as that was the overall understanding of me and most of my peers when I discovered the community. It is what I came of age in. As said, there was room for archetypal concepts on the psychological side of the issue but that was about it from what I had witnessed. With that said, I have very little understanding beyond those too definitions of otherkin, so please feel free to educate me if you wish to try.

I honestly do not know what a psychological otherkin even is, it doesn't register or make sense to me, when I hear the words psychological otherkin all I hear is archetypal identity and when I hear the word fictionkin I tend to look back at my girl friends past and assume the writer is just some confused roleplayer who is channeling a self manifested head mate or at best tulpa'mancing their personal reality, neither of which would be acceptable for use with the traditional suffix of “Kin”. When I think back to my girlfriends actions, or when I envision fictionkin the sense I get reminds me of the false realities portrayed in the anime Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions, the whole idea just comes off as an escapist game, just a game and not a fully understood or well challenged sense of self.

To conclude this “back in my day” rant, - back in my day being otherkin was never truly about choosing a personal identity, it was something deeper then that and I don't think most “fictionkin” around today have any understanding of what otherkin meant ten, twenty or thirty years ago. Perhaps in many ways I'm just an old bitter anachronism and things have simply changed while I was off living life.
_________________

Otherkin Moderation, A Balanced View

The concept of otherkinism is a very questionable and subjective belief which although potentially having parallels with some forms of shamanism or animism throughout diverse cultures of the past is still a relatively new term or belief system in it's modern form having only begun (or been revived?) in the last forty years or so of modern history. The overall community is still finding its culture and due to it's subjective, emotional and spiritual nature must be treated both respectfully and rationally by the individual. We live in a world wherein high fantasy is only a click away and psychological and emotional wish fulfillment can easily intermix with fictional narratives to create false assumptions and realities.

It is in this regard that I advocate having a strong personal balance between the rational and spiritual in ones perceived kin beliefs. By all means accept being otherkin and don't allow yourself to be forced to deny it if you have passion or an inner knowing, but likewise be humble enough to accept or reflect upon new evidence or criticisms as they occur. In matters of personal psychology try to maintain a centrist view where for example if one were to wake up with a phantom limb, they could peacefully accept it as either a psychological placebo or a spiritual aura while still having the experience be meaningful and bonding to their perceived belief.

Personally I am somewhat of a pantheist and animist, I believe that spirits are formless and can incarnate as any existing/living body as well as in any place which can sustain life, I also believe that time and space are irrelevant to a spirit. However I also try to my best to approach things rationally and as a human I know that my opinion is subjective and that while I am alive I can only assume or speculate upon the nature of spirits. I also do my best not to underestimate the vulnerabilities of the human brain, how chemicals, hormones and experiences throughout development can affect ones psychology. So I personally see it rational and required of me to walk somewhat of a middle ground. I feel with all my heart that my experiences are spiritual, but I can accept and don't begrudge that I can not prove them or that others may view me as psychologically flawed or confused.

As a result of my own past experiences I somewhat require myself to be agnostic, as I noticed in my past that every time I would let the pendulum of my beliefs swing too far in one direction or in another that I would either become miserable that I wasn't be true to myself or alternatively I would cease to be self critical and would fall into false assumptions. When I settled on a balanced or centrist view of “I will not deny being otherkin but I will also critique my beliefs and be open to criticism because in the end, who knows” that stance kind of helped me to become more secure, I had juggled extremes and personally needed a middle ground.

Though in the end the only real difference between me now and me five years ago is just that I say “I perceive that I was a dragon” rather then say outright that “I was a dragon” It is a little less assertive but doesn't change who I am or what I personally believe. I realize that I may have said in the past that being agnostic on the matter was a desirable mannerism for otherkin, but it is by no means a mandate or tenant. Its just what worked for me. Otherkinism is individualized and everyone should find their own path. If you the reader are self critical and can explain how you came to your conclusions, that is all I am pushing for. I just want others to be more aware of the origins of their conclusions so that they do not just make up a persona and go with it.

Regarding if I would require the same introspection or agnosticism of other faiths, first, again, agnosticism is really a flawed word, my context was seeking a balanced rational for ones beliefs, just an ability to explain how you came to your conclusions and accept criticism if necessary. A typical mainstream faith has certain borders and boundaries built into their system, whereas identifying as otherkin is not like a mainstream religion. Otherkin by its nature has few real barriers, anyone can just claim any identity and if done right everyone will go along with it, because of this our community is particularly susceptible to delusional or escapist members which is why there is a need for more assertive self reflection from individual members within the community, we need to self police.

Sometimes members with obvious psychological issues may take claim to being otherkin while other times younger kin may jump into fantasy mindsets and assume them to be real. As I mentioned in the beginning of this text we are a fairly new (or revived) belief system that has only existed for a few decades, with any luck it is likely that we will continue to grow in the years to come but, if so, then it is likely that our community will increasingly become more noticed as our culture continues to change and evolve.

Considering the free for all nature of otherkin as opposed to more ordered mainstream beliefs I personally feel that a high degree of individual introspection, self awareness and moderation are particularly needed now as at this point in history due to personal identity politics increasingly becoming an issue in the mainstream and the otherkin of select social media groups often creating a poor misconception of our overall community. From my interpretation of present cultural trends I fear that as the years go on it is possible that more antagonistic forces may gradually turn their attention to our communities activities, general culture and beliefs.

Case in point, the amazing atheist was just a youtube channel and if our representatives on Tumblr could not handle that minuscule criticism maturely then what will happen when or if a mainstream personality were to report negatively on us. For the sake of our overall cultural image we can not allow the idea of otherkin to be treated as a game or some deluded cult populated by triggered imbeciles using our belief as a coping method to avoid societal hardships. We must work to take personal responsibility, to better know ourselves and to be able to defend coherently what we believe both to ourselves and to others in a way that does not reflect poorly on us as individuals or on our community as a whole.

We are slowly becoming more noticed and because of this exposure we will be increasingly susceptible to a higher risk of social criticism and will be judged by our worse actors. Therefore I feel it is the ultimate responsibility of each individual kin to determine their own personal spirituality as clearly and rationally as possible in case the day may come that they are ever confronted or called by society to defend their view of being otherkin or to explain the origin of their conclusions. I hope that I didn't come off as too much of a doomsayer, I am just worried that trans species could be the next issue after gender identity politics have ran their natural course and if so, then we had best be ready, and hey, even if it doesn't happen, we are all still better knowing ourselves and having a clear personal understanding of our beliefs regardless.

Jafira Dragon

The Importance of self moderation for Otherkin

A faith or belief such as otherkinism needs to be reigned in at times. Otherkinism by its nature is a belief that has few doctrinal borders so it is up to the collective community as individuals to agree upon and set some form of guidelines to keep things from getting out of control and being flooded with incoherence, delusions or purely emotional rationalizations. The otherkin community is also prime bait for people just seeking attention alongside of the truly confused or delusional who may be seeking an escape from this life or may be desire special treatment and attention.

Most of societies traditional beliefs tend to have internal doctrinal boundaries or a general understanding of their tenants and beliefs to ensure that their adherents do not commonly need as much oversight or policing by the overall community. Considering however the individualistic nature of otherkin it is unlikely that some great otherkin equivalent of the Council of Nicaea will ever agree to banish fictionkin as heretics or determine that someone cannot be a Galaxykin, therefore we will never have a bible or book of law due to the fact that our beliefs are by nature subjective faith.

However, I can propose one true mandate or commandment, Introspect yourself and others. Individual otherkin must be prudent to always in all circumstances question the understandings and perceptions of both themselves and others. The fluid and liberal understanding of personal and spiritual identity allowed by the concept of otherkinism must always be approached and handled responsibly and introspectively with adherents commonly questioning, searching and meditating on their own personal beliefs and understandings.

Otherkin to me is the belief in reincarnation and perhaps a multiverse, I am a pantheist and the otherkin concept fits easily into my own personal worldview. For others it may be a more psychological or inner knowing. I understand that otherkinism as a general philosophy is very fluid and flexible, but it is easily susceptible to delusional ideas and prior to the arrival of social media most otherkin kept to various closed communities for that very reason. In the past we as otherkin were careful about who we would come out to, the topic was at times a need to know basis, being kept secret helped us to moderate and keep out a lot of the attention seekers, escapists and special snowflakes who would later come to taint our beliefs on tumblr today.

We still had a large degree of fluff in the kin communities back then (I mean come on, I still weaseled in) but the troubles were not as out of control as they are today. One reason for the stability in years passed was because of the guidelines we set forth as a community. Common sense tenets like "This belief is personal or spiritual to our members and important." "That it takes meditation and personal growth," "That it is not something that is just decided or a game." "That we are always learning and seeking" "That we are not trying to override this life, but understand that knowing ourselves is meant to teach us lessons. to make us better people and to help us work towards our personal or spiritual growth."

Unfortunately with the rise of social media we must learn to police ourselves individually. So again, be introspective, self aware and always in a state of learning, be rational, seek understanding and never give way to simple assumptions.

~Jafira Dragon

It is not uncommon for some otherkin to have moments of questioning or a weakness of faith, the most important thing to know is that it is okay. Being otherkin is not like a dogmatic belief that will punish you for questioning it, rather it requires a high degree of such in order to be personally honest with oneself. It is no surprise that many otherkin will be challenged, modern society and common beliefs will typically look down or frown upon the concept of otherkin and that knowledge leads to questioning.

Many times within my life I have abandoned the belief that I am a dragon. - “its foolish”, “its imaginary”, “its wish fulfillment”, “its psychological projection” those are all things that I would tell myself. As well many times during my life my belief was shaken to its core and I was often forced to re-examine over and over again throughout the years what I believed, gradually trimming away what was ego and desire and leaving only what faith and emotion would not allow cold logic to remove.

For many years it was a struggle to express to myself or believe that I was once possibly a dragon without feeling insecure or insane. I learned that if I bluntly said “I am a dragon” the burden of proof was upon me and I would often be torn down. But that If I said “I perceive that I was once a dragon” it became more a matter of faith, spirituality and belief, the simple re-wording helped to relieve confrontations and doubt. I had learned to say to myself, “I may have been a dragon in a prior life, I can not prove it, but it is what my heart tells me, it is what I perceive my spirit to be. I am human today and can live this life, but I feel I may have once been something else and that is what my spirit tells me.”

But enough rambling, in short life is hard and stressful, it brings us down and our obscure otherkin beliefs can become an emotional liability which can cause us to doubt and avoid it or to simply push it in to the background. But when you see that perfect image of your kintype somewhere or when you visualize just the right scene and those old emotions all come rushing back, it becomes kind of hard to deny that there is something there and something to it.

It's okay to doubt and there will be times in life in which that doubt may last for quite a long time. But when there is that little spiritual/emotional/special connection to your kintype beneath the surface, then faith always tends to find its way back in time. Its just something that doesn't go away. During those phases of distance, it never hurts to remind yourself of your connection to your kintype, through music, videos, stories, or art.

Personally I collect art of my kintype and of associated characters or creations of mine to help pick me up when I feel down, I combine viewing them with music that is personally emotional to me. Sometimes, like this past summer I may just need to distance myself from the belief and focus on the present life and of course, getting out to nature also tends to help.

Never be afraid to doubt, what is true, if it is true, shall not vanish, only be suppressed and rekindled later anew like a fiery phoenix, live your life in peace and balance, all will be as it is meant to be.

~Jafira Dragon.