-----------------Due to the excessive length of the rant in question (five word pages) the text can not be posted to this particular page. -----------------

Tumblr really pissed me off that night..

Please click here to read my textual rampage: http://jafira.tumblr.com/post/1283346 ... -tumblrkin-sjw-admonition

Please click here for my attempt to walk it all back.: http://jafira.tumblr.com/post/128398679020/re-my-rant-on-tumblrkin

Fun times..

Advice: For Those on Hard Times #1 (2008)
(By Jafira)

For whatever you may be going through, I cannot say for a fact that I can relate, as everyone has different experiences and different environments. But I would like to speak from experience, and from my own past. When I was growing up, I was cursed with a speech impediment, a lisp or hiss in my speech which would cause my words to be slurred, for this I was bullied constantly. My RL name is spelt in a feminine tense so I was also called "gay" and "fag" and so forth.

Growing up in a poorer family, I lacked decent clothing and was picked on for this as well. Socially awkward as it were, my situation was made worse by false friends, who robbed and stole from me when they visited, and disowned me in public. For many of my earlier years I was accident prone, having broken my leg once, my arms twice, my collar bones multiple times, and nearly dying after puncturing my lungs in a vehicle accident. For this I was even more of a social outcast.

Due to my rejection of mainstream religions in a very religious town I was told daily that my beliefs and views no matter how rational or reasonable would condemn me to a fiery inferno. As well, in my early teens I was caught up in a nasty divorce which caused further torment to my life. From grade school until high school my life was literally a living hell of physical, mental, and spiritual pain, quite often I would cry myself to sleep and the pain was unbearable. But I fought on because I knew that although I did not know what it was, my life had a purpose, and that retreat from that purpose was the cowards way out.

I reminded myself that my pain was irrelevant when compared to that of those suffering in other countries and lands torn by war, that others struggled every day while I had shelter and a home. I knew that my pains would make me stronger and I worked to live each day as if it were my last, not caring what others thought. It was not until many years later in high school that I would meet friends who understood me, and not until long after graduation that I would find a decent mate.

I am still considered a freak, told I dress like a loser, and am a social outcast, but through it all I was made stronger, it took me many years but I did in time, find friends who accepted me for who I am, despite my quirks and past, so although at times it may seem impossible and far away they are out there, and for everyone there is also a mate or partner waiting to be found, sometimes closer then you think.

From my own experiences, I can state that although at times it may seem that the pain may never end, that your life may be meaningless and insignificant, the fact still remains that life must be faced with pride, be yourself, live each day as if it were your last, have faith in the future, trust in your self and that you have a purpose, and that if you wait, and if you look, you will find the friends that you seek.

Most of my closest personal friends were met by accident, sparking a conversation in a chat room, noticing a similar interest, or met on the way to a bus. It can happen at anytime, but a little effort helps as well. It may seem irrational reading this, but I am extremely shy, I am afraid of you, of everyone on the web, but I know that I have a lot to contribute, so I clench my fists and type, because this is my purpose, to help people, and to show them that they are not alone.

I would like to recommend "draconic's find a dragon" program to any who may be alone, perhaps you may have luck finding someone to relate to: http://www.draconic.com/ Check out the "find a dragon" section. Perhaps while there, consider reading the "for dragons" section, there is a link in there to some interesting audio files.

Regardless of all of this, I can mostly state that only you can really change your situation, being depressed (and I know first hand that it is a difficult thing to escape) will not solve any of your problems, only prolong them, you have to make an effort to better your situation, and work to understand that it can always be worse. Always remind yourself that the future is yet to come and that things can always become better, you won't be stuck in your rut forever.

If possible get out doors and get some fresh air and nature, try to look for the good in all things, work to dwell on positive thoughts over the negative (easier said then done) express yourself through your hobbies and skills, try to search for people you can relate to and attempt to spark a conversation, if you fail to make a friend, or embarrass yourself, time will erase your mistake, who cares.

Most problems are temporary, they only remain because you dwell on them. Live each day as a new day and leave the past where it belongs, try to always focus on the present and the future, because they are what matters most in the long run. Don't ever be afraid to vent, it doesn't make you weak, only giving up will do that. Through support you will find you are not alone and that others can relate, through example you can learn that there is hope for a better tomorrow.

Whatever your circumstances may be, I hope that you can feel better in time, and I know from experience that these words will not be enough alone to heal your wounds, and that only time can do that. But I hope that the support you find here can help to lead you on a better path, if nothing else, then cheer you up. I have been where you are, everyone reaches their breaking point at some time or another, and even after it's over, there will always be some residual pain on lonely nights, but I can say from experience, it can always get better in time, you can persevere.

~Jafira Dragon

As a few of my recent writings here have been written with the ulterior motive of attacking or discouraging fictionkin. I figured I would just come right out and say how I felt instead. Yes, I consider myself to be hostile towards the concept of fictionkin for a variety of personal and subjective reasons, the main ones being a familiarity bias and an experiential bias.

I consider myself to be dragonkin through reincarnation, I had experienced most of my initial awakening while still quite young in the early 90's and without the aid of the internet, left to my own introspection I had come to the conclusion that reincarnation was the most rational explanation as to how I could perceive myself to be a dragon in all but a physical form. Later when I discovered the otherkin community in the late 90's and early 2000's I had found that my own conclusions seemed to have had a valid consensus among my peers in the community, in a sense back then it was the norm. That is not to say psychological otherkin did not exist, but their beliefs generally consisted of well thought out self understandings and typically had an archetypal basis of sorts.

During the time that I discovered and came to know the general otherkin community any fictionkin that exist were often relegated to the realm of fluff and were typically challenged and questioned into exile. I personally begun to drift away from the community around 2008'ish but at the time that I had left, cultural views on otherkin still seemed generally unchanged, although opinions were straying more towards an agnostic understanding and into a less spiritual direction as my peers aged and matured. Still, as if I was frozen in a time capsule for eight years I left and did not choose to grow and mature with the overall community. So, now, as I'm returning from a nearly eight year hiatus I have found that a lot of what I see on tumblr appears very foreign and unorthodox to me.

Secondly, my girl friend and soon to be wife was formally what is now known as fictionkin, when I had first met her she proudly had the character Inuyasha as a head mate and she'd typically front him on a daily basis. However, never once did she consider herself to be “Kin” because of him. Rather, it was more like some form of LARP'ing for her, but also, so much more as it was an emotional connection of being able to connect to a character and universe that she identified with. Even still, for her there was still a basic understanding that she was not this character at heart and eventually she matured and moved on from her ability to channel and to front Inuyasha.

On the other hand, otherkin identities as I grew to know them in the past were something that you were typically born with, had suspected on an inherent personal level or had some form of inner knowing of. It wasn't something simply to be triggered by an anime or a cartoon, it was inherently known or suspected long before such a trigger and once discovered, ones otherkin identity could have the potential to last as a part of ones personality through the course of their lifetime. That is why I do not consider most fictionkin to be “legit” as it where, I have no problem with their existence, I just want my word back. I'm more comfortable as fictionkin identifying with a form of copinglink perhaps, but not as “Kin” or at least not by the traditional understanding of the term.

Lastly and probably the biggest reason that I get infuriated by the idea of Fictionkin is due to subjective personal reasons attributable only to myself. I personally awakened as a dragon at roughly the age of ten, I am presently thirty two years of age as I write this, that means that I have had to deal with the emotional consequences of my draconic awakening over the course of twenty two long years, the first six of those years I had no access to the internet and so had no way of knowing that I wasn't the only person on Earth going through that type of identity crisis, I was convinced that I was insane but there was nothing I could do to resist my inner knowing and therefore there was no way for me to fight my insanity without being miserable..

You can not possibly know how terrifying that was, to be a kid in the 90's and knowing in your heart and soul that you felt and saw yourself as something impossible to be, with absolutely no way of knowing that you were not alone in that struggle. I would question and challenge myself everyday and I would cry myself to sleep every night. For me it was never some stupid identity or association game, I would have traded the world if that were possible, it wasn't something that I could just simply turn off or forget, it was an undeniable aspect of my mind and inner self which I couldn't escape from no matter how much I would try to run or hide from it. The sensations and a knowing that I was different and unnatural would not cease no matter how much I would cry out for them to stop. No matter what I tried growing up, my tears would never make me normal and to ignore the truth would always just bring more pain then acceptance. I was trapped by otherkin, it was never a choice, it was an undeniable yet irrational sense of self.

I spent my high school and college years suffering from phantom pains and species dysphoria so powerful and heart breaking that on every full moon I would travel out to the wilderness armed with every prayer and occult device imaginable in constant attempts to offer up my very soul to whichever gods or devil could possibly release me from the torment of my flesh and return me home to the life or body I so desperately missed. Being Otherkin was never fun for me, it was a constant fight, an unending emotional nightmare and a psychological struggle between heart and reality from which I could never seem to escape. How can a psychological otherkin understand fully that struggle? One of walking a balance between denying reality and denying self, or enduring the longings and pains for a body that possibly never existed, when by admission of their own self understanding they are only experiencing a temporary psychological association to a fictional creation?

In short, I don't like you using my suffix “kin”, I want my word back, it may not be such for others anymore, but otherkin was the closest thing to a faith that I ever had and I don't want to see the terminology watered down without a fight. To see that inner torment of my past being associated with somebodies temporary fictional identity or psychological fling enrages me. Being otherkin used to be something more permanent, inherent and emotionally consequential. Identifying as otherkin once brought hardships of identity, pains and longings that for example, my mate who was fronting and channeling Inuyasha in the past simply would have never gotten or understood, because when she was fronting Inuyasha she was not magically and suddenly “Kin”, rather she was something else, you name that something else if you wish, but she wasn't otherkin.

When I left the overall otherkin community around 2008'ish there was an understanding that one could not just watch How To Train Your Dragon and declare themselves a Nightfury, I could not watch MLP-FIM and suddenly declare myself to be a citizen of Canterlot without a fight. That type of thinking was beaten back and challenged in the past. I am now returning from a hiatus of several years to find a culture that to me is foreign and in some respects absolutely disgusting. It offends the memory of my past experiences, my past friendships, and my past understandings. In result, I consider myself to be hostile to fictionkin because prior to the rise of social media, to do so was common consensus. There is a reason why select otherkin refer to the community of otherkin on tumblr as “Tumblrkin” the overall culture and general understandings are foreign and unorthodox to the way things were once understood.

Again, I approach the entire otherkin concept primarily from a biased spiritual worldview as that was the overall understanding of me and most of my peers when I discovered the community. It is what I came of age in. As said, there was room for archetypal concepts on the psychological side of the issue but that was about it from what I had witnessed. With that said, I have very little understanding beyond those too definitions of otherkin, so please feel free to educate me if you wish to try.

I honestly do not know what a psychological otherkin even is, it doesn't register or make sense to me, when I hear the words psychological otherkin all I hear is archetypal identity and when I hear the word fictionkin I tend to look back at my girl friends past and assume the writer is just some confused roleplayer who is channeling a self manifested head mate or at best tulpa'mancing their personal reality, neither of which would be acceptable for use with the traditional suffix of “Kin”. When I think back to my girlfriends actions, or when I envision fictionkin the sense I get reminds me of the false realities portrayed in the anime Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions, the whole idea just comes off as an escapist game, just a game and not a fully understood or well challenged sense of self.

To conclude this “back in my day” rant, - back in my day being otherkin was never truly about choosing a personal identity, it was something deeper then that and I don't think most “fictionkin” around today have any understanding of what otherkin meant ten, twenty or thirty years ago. Perhaps in many ways I'm just an old bitter anachronism and things have simply changed while I was off living life.
_________________

Otherkin Moderation, A Balanced View

The concept of otherkinism is a very questionable and subjective belief which although potentially having parallels with some forms of shamanism or animism throughout diverse cultures of the past is still a relatively new term or belief system in it's modern form having only begun (or been revived?) in the last forty years or so of modern history. The overall community is still finding its culture and due to it's subjective, emotional and spiritual nature must be treated both respectfully and rationally by the individual. We live in a world wherein high fantasy is only a click away and psychological and emotional wish fulfillment can easily intermix with fictional narratives to create false assumptions and realities.

It is in this regard that I advocate having a strong personal balance between the rational and spiritual in ones perceived kin beliefs. By all means accept being otherkin and don't allow yourself to be forced to deny it if you have passion or an inner knowing, but likewise be humble enough to accept or reflect upon new evidence or criticisms as they occur. In matters of personal psychology try to maintain a centrist view where for example if one were to wake up with a phantom limb, they could peacefully accept it as either a psychological placebo or a spiritual aura while still having the experience be meaningful and bonding to their perceived belief.

Personally I am somewhat of a pantheist and animist, I believe that spirits are formless and can incarnate as any existing/living body as well as in any place which can sustain life, I also believe that time and space are irrelevant to a spirit. However I also try to my best to approach things rationally and as a human I know that my opinion is subjective and that while I am alive I can only assume or speculate upon the nature of spirits. I also do my best not to underestimate the vulnerabilities of the human brain, how chemicals, hormones and experiences throughout development can affect ones psychology. So I personally see it rational and required of me to walk somewhat of a middle ground. I feel with all my heart that my experiences are spiritual, but I can accept and don't begrudge that I can not prove them or that others may view me as psychologically flawed or confused.

As a result of my own past experiences I somewhat require myself to be agnostic, as I noticed in my past that every time I would let the pendulum of my beliefs swing too far in one direction or in another that I would either become miserable that I wasn't be true to myself or alternatively I would cease to be self critical and would fall into false assumptions. When I settled on a balanced or centrist view of “I will not deny being otherkin but I will also critique my beliefs and be open to criticism because in the end, who knows” that stance kind of helped me to become more secure, I had juggled extremes and personally needed a middle ground.

Though in the end the only real difference between me now and me five years ago is just that I say “I perceive that I was a dragon” rather then say outright that “I was a dragon” It is a little less assertive but doesn't change who I am or what I personally believe. I realize that I may have said in the past that being agnostic on the matter was a desirable mannerism for otherkin, but it is by no means a mandate or tenant. Its just what worked for me. Otherkinism is individualized and everyone should find their own path. If you the reader are self critical and can explain how you came to your conclusions, that is all I am pushing for. I just want others to be more aware of the origins of their conclusions so that they do not just make up a persona and go with it.

Regarding if I would require the same introspection or agnosticism of other faiths, first, again, agnosticism is really a flawed word, my context was seeking a balanced rational for ones beliefs, just an ability to explain how you came to your conclusions and accept criticism if necessary. A typical mainstream faith has certain borders and boundaries built into their system, whereas identifying as otherkin is not like a mainstream religion. Otherkin by its nature has few real barriers, anyone can just claim any identity and if done right everyone will go along with it, because of this our community is particularly susceptible to delusional or escapist members which is why there is a need for more assertive self reflection from individual members within the community, we need to self police.

Sometimes members with obvious psychological issues may take claim to being otherkin while other times younger kin may jump into fantasy mindsets and assume them to be real. As I mentioned in the beginning of this text we are a fairly new (or revived) belief system that has only existed for a few decades, with any luck it is likely that we will continue to grow in the years to come but, if so, then it is likely that our community will increasingly become more noticed as our culture continues to change and evolve.

Considering the free for all nature of otherkin as opposed to more ordered mainstream beliefs I personally feel that a high degree of individual introspection, self awareness and moderation are particularly needed now as at this point in history due to personal identity politics increasingly becoming an issue in the mainstream and the otherkin of select social media groups often creating a poor misconception of our overall community. From my interpretation of present cultural trends I fear that as the years go on it is possible that more antagonistic forces may gradually turn their attention to our communities activities, general culture and beliefs.

Case in point, the amazing atheist was just a youtube channel and if our representatives on Tumblr could not handle that minuscule criticism maturely then what will happen when or if a mainstream personality were to report negatively on us. For the sake of our overall cultural image we can not allow the idea of otherkin to be treated as a game or some deluded cult populated by triggered imbeciles using our belief as a coping method to avoid societal hardships. We must work to take personal responsibility, to better know ourselves and to be able to defend coherently what we believe both to ourselves and to others in a way that does not reflect poorly on us as individuals or on our community as a whole.

We are slowly becoming more noticed and because of this exposure we will be increasingly susceptible to a higher risk of social criticism and will be judged by our worse actors. Therefore I feel it is the ultimate responsibility of each individual kin to determine their own personal spirituality as clearly and rationally as possible in case the day may come that they are ever confronted or called by society to defend their view of being otherkin or to explain the origin of their conclusions. I hope that I didn't come off as too much of a doomsayer, I am just worried that trans species could be the next issue after gender identity politics have ran their natural course and if so, then we had best be ready, and hey, even if it doesn't happen, we are all still better knowing ourselves and having a clear personal understanding of our beliefs regardless.

Jafira Dragon

The Importance of self moderation for Otherkin

A faith or belief such as otherkinism needs to be reigned in at times. Otherkinism by its nature is a belief that has few doctrinal borders so it is up to the collective community as individuals to agree upon and set some form of guidelines to keep things from getting out of control and being flooded with incoherence, delusions or purely emotional rationalizations. The otherkin community is also prime bait for people just seeking attention alongside of the truly confused or delusional who may be seeking an escape from this life or may be desire special treatment and attention.

Most of societies traditional beliefs tend to have internal doctrinal boundaries or a general understanding of their tenants and beliefs to ensure that their adherents do not commonly need as much oversight or policing by the overall community. Considering however the individualistic nature of otherkin it is unlikely that some great otherkin equivalent of the Council of Nicaea will ever agree to banish fictionkin as heretics or determine that someone cannot be a Galaxykin, therefore we will never have a bible or book of law due to the fact that our beliefs are by nature subjective faith.

However, I can propose one true mandate or commandment, Introspect yourself and others. Individual otherkin must be prudent to always in all circumstances question the understandings and perceptions of both themselves and others. The fluid and liberal understanding of personal and spiritual identity allowed by the concept of otherkinism must always be approached and handled responsibly and introspectively with adherents commonly questioning, searching and meditating on their own personal beliefs and understandings.

Otherkin to me is the belief in reincarnation and perhaps a multiverse, I am a pantheist and the otherkin concept fits easily into my own personal worldview. For others it may be a more psychological or inner knowing. I understand that otherkinism as a general philosophy is very fluid and flexible, but it is easily susceptible to delusional ideas and prior to the arrival of social media most otherkin kept to various closed communities for that very reason. In the past we as otherkin were careful about who we would come out to, the topic was at times a need to know basis, being kept secret helped us to moderate and keep out a lot of the attention seekers, escapists and special snowflakes who would later come to taint our beliefs on tumblr today.

We still had a large degree of fluff in the kin communities back then (I mean come on, I still weaseled in) but the troubles were not as out of control as they are today. One reason for the stability in years passed was because of the guidelines we set forth as a community. Common sense tenets like "This belief is personal or spiritual to our members and important." "That it takes meditation and personal growth," "That it is not something that is just decided or a game." "That we are always learning and seeking" "That we are not trying to override this life, but understand that knowing ourselves is meant to teach us lessons. to make us better people and to help us work towards our personal or spiritual growth."

Unfortunately with the rise of social media we must learn to police ourselves individually. So again, be introspective, self aware and always in a state of learning, be rational, seek understanding and never give way to simple assumptions.

~Jafira Dragon

It is not uncommon for some otherkin to have moments of questioning or a weakness of faith, the most important thing to know is that it is okay. Being otherkin is not like a dogmatic belief that will punish you for questioning it, rather it requires a high degree of such in order to be personally honest with oneself. It is no surprise that many otherkin will be challenged, modern society and common beliefs will typically look down or frown upon the concept of otherkin and that knowledge leads to questioning.

Many times within my life I have abandoned the belief that I am a dragon. - “its foolish”, “its imaginary”, “its wish fulfillment”, “its psychological projection” those are all things that I would tell myself. As well many times during my life my belief was shaken to its core and I was often forced to re-examine over and over again throughout the years what I believed, gradually trimming away what was ego and desire and leaving only what faith and emotion would not allow cold logic to remove.

For many years it was a struggle to express to myself or believe that I was once possibly a dragon without feeling insecure or insane. I learned that if I bluntly said “I am a dragon” the burden of proof was upon me and I would often be torn down. But that If I said “I perceive that I was once a dragon” it became more a matter of faith, spirituality and belief, the simple re-wording helped to relieve confrontations and doubt. I had learned to say to myself, “I may have been a dragon in a prior life, I can not prove it, but it is what my heart tells me, it is what I perceive my spirit to be. I am human today and can live this life, but I feel I may have once been something else and that is what my spirit tells me.”

But enough rambling, in short life is hard and stressful, it brings us down and our obscure otherkin beliefs can become an emotional liability which can cause us to doubt and avoid it or to simply push it in to the background. But when you see that perfect image of your kintype somewhere or when you visualize just the right scene and those old emotions all come rushing back, it becomes kind of hard to deny that there is something there and something to it.

It's okay to doubt and there will be times in life in which that doubt may last for quite a long time. But when there is that little spiritual/emotional/special connection to your kintype beneath the surface, then faith always tends to find its way back in time. Its just something that doesn't go away. During those phases of distance, it never hurts to remind yourself of your connection to your kintype, through music, videos, stories, or art.

Personally I collect art of my kintype and of associated characters or creations of mine to help pick me up when I feel down, I combine viewing them with music that is personally emotional to me. Sometimes, like this past summer I may just need to distance myself from the belief and focus on the present life and of course, getting out to nature also tends to help.

Never be afraid to doubt, what is true, if it is true, shall not vanish, only be suppressed and rekindled later anew like a fiery phoenix, live your life in peace and balance, all will be as it is meant to be.

~Jafira Dragon.

This letter was written in response to an individual asking about otherkin “shifting”.

Regarding sometimes feeling more like ones kintype then human, that is apparently common during ones awakening, I remember that during the peak of my own personal awakening during some of my late teens I would often times feel the entire dragon body of my kinform Korageth overlapping my human body, often for days at a time.

Even though I would walk upright and do everything normally, I would somehow feel or sense the invisible foot steps of Kora's front legs in front of my human form, and the presence of my wings alongside my hind legs and long tail dragging behind me as I walked around, it was simply indescribable having such a phantom form and feeling the odd sensations of it overlapping my physical form while sensing the simultaneous feeling of both bodies at once. (Sadly I guess I lost or aged out of that connection/ability over time, I can't seem to pull off a shift like that anymore..)

I had for many years in my past, growled and murred and would playfully shift my speech into a raspy draconic voice as well. Several times a day I would commonly on occasion have the need to stretch phantom wings which would randomly appear from my back shoulders. There have also been times in the past wherein I would have the irrational and insane desire to briefly walk on all fours, heh I'd save it for private but yeah I was a weird kid.. At other times I had slept curled upon my sheets or in similar fashions mimicking how I had probably slept in my past kin form.

I am assuming that most or all otherkin have periods in their awakenings in which the influence of their spiritual or psychological identity in some form or sense consumes their mind or spiritual body, at which times they may be more in tuned to their kintype in mind or spirit. Myself, I used to believe that I had the ability to call up my full phantom form alongside a pool of immense energy at will, I often would use that belief to do mental/aura shifts while exploring nearby wilderness so as to truly be free experiencing the surrounding nature.

The only downfall to those random shifts or types of spiritual perceptions is that at the end of the day we are still stuck in our human forms. No otherkin anywhere in modern time has ever successfully pulled off a physical transformation so what I have just described or what you may presently be experiencing are the known peaks and limits of otherkinity's influence over the physical form or reality. No matter what you try, in the end the body you are in is what you have to live with, we are all still confined to what we exist as today, so it remains necessary to work with a focus to better this life as a priority. Work to utilize your kintype as a point of pride, you have a unique understanding of spirit so use that knowledge with the goal that you will never stop improving the present and who you are now.

Keep working on improving your otherkin shifts or states of mind, embrace them, and accept them if you wish, its normal for most kin and frankly feels awesome most of the time. The key is just remembering not to get too caught up in it as some can tend to do. (including myself...) I guess shift in moderation, as good as it may hypothetically feel to be close to your kintype and flow with these sensations you still need to remember to balance your human and otherkin identities. Balance is always important, I see myself separate from most of my peers and spend a lot of time in nature and spiritual introspection but I still also acknowledge that I presently exist in a meritocracy and must work and coexist with said peers in day to day life if I want to succeed in this world or bring honor to my past.

When you are at home, in nature, or with close friends, feel free and at peace to embrace your kintype and shift freely, but when you are in life with a world of non-believers and the folk you will meet day to day remember that you are also part of that world and are responsible to do your best to live and succeed among them. We are here as humans for some reason, we don't exist as who we are today by accident, so do not avoid finding or pursuing your higher purpose or potential by dwelling too deeply on spiritual or psychological escapes or distractions, have a balance and moderation in all things.

~Jafira Dragon

Quote:
Approximate Question:

"I strongly believe that I may be otherkin but lack any awakening memories or flashbacks. I feel really strongly I am and it'd explain a lot but can I be otherkin without memories?"


Regarding your concerns of a lack of awakening, contrary to what some may say, it isn’t the end of the world or a lack of proof if flashbacks or memories haven’t popped up. Otherkinism in my personal view is a faith based concept, a spiritual or psychological perception of ones inner self. Not all otherkin are of the “reincarnated” variety and there are different interpretations as to what is going on spiritually or psychologically and in that way there are different degrees or spectrum of otherkin.

I just focus on the reincarnation aspect due to an experience bias it's what I relate with personally. Another reason you may not have any memories is that they seem to be a sort of highlight reel of important emotional moments that may have imprinted on the spirit like a recording. I think I was mostly a wild animal so I mostly just had my death and one or two brief moments of interest. The most vivid possible memory I have was a dream in which I got ambushed and killed in my sleep. In the third and last repeat of said dream a humanoid wolf shouted “Koragus” or “Korageth” which I assume was my name (By that time I had already adopted the name Jafira both online and in personal friendships so stuck with it) If your possible past life was peaceful or mundane then it may be possible that nothing was imprinted like that, or it may take longer for something to come up. *shrugs* possibly nothing may come up, but just know that memories are not the end all be all of evidence.

To be honest, at least in regards to myself I worry that some may be over imagining the impact of memories. As said above I only had a few brief nightmares of getting killed and a quick flashback of flying over grass and a lake. I also had a few separate dreams in which I was an entirely different dragon of the opposite gender nesting with a family, so go figure on that one. (She became my Rashau character)

Point being, you can’t rely solely on dreams like that, some can be just that, dreams. In the end my major past life memory tally was three nightmares and a flashback of flying. Any of which could easily be whittled away rationally. The vast majority of my faith or perceptions that I was once a dragon tend to come from a sort of inner knowing or to get metaphysical, a spiritual instinct. I don’t want to say its entirely emotion based as that could be perceived as escapism or fantasy, but In many ways for myself at least, it is built partly upon emotion and just personal experiences.

For example, starting about the age of ten or so I had a sort of “dragon side” or imaginary other half that would kind of give me support. When I turned thirteen somebody told me that I was possessed and others said I wasn’t normal, so I tried to kill it alongside all interest in dragons. This lead to a strange depression in which I just drifted through life kind of dead inside. So a year later I went back to liking dragons. At the age of sixteen a friend and family member destroyed what few dragon things I had (mostly a sentimental necklace and a journal of thoughts and doodles) so I acted normal again but became depressed and drifty like before.

Around the age of seventeen/eighteen I discovered otherkin and that I wasn’t alone which pretty much rebooted my love of dragons and put it into overdrive, but since I had no real memories other then a vague death, I made large assumptions and made everything about myself up. A few years later my false reality imploded and I abandoned dragons and otherkin yet again. That also lead to a long depression until I started over from scratch, which pretty much lead me to the present. I constantly struggled with the subject of “am I a dragon?” all throughout my life.

As you may have noticed, every time in my past that I would try to ignore my odd connection to dragons I would go into a sort of depression as if an important part of my self was dead or being locked away. Whenever I would accept or “go with” the idea that I was a dragon or somehow connected to them, my mentality would seem to shift back to a positive or normal state. This sense of being whole when I accepted that I may have been a dragon felt to me personally to be equal or better evidence then the few possible past life memories that I may have had.

There is still a 50/50 chance that I am not dragonkin, because in the end, Its impossible to know for sure. I try to keep to an agnostic mindset, I believe in all my heart that I was a dragon, based on the questions it answers and how it effects me negatively when I deny or ignore the idea, but since its improvable, I could be wrong. Thus I say “may have been” or “I perceive that I was” so as to avoid any absolutes or fights. I tread a middle ground leaning towards “Yes”. Despite my agnosticism or mild uncertainty I choose to identify myself as otherkin because personally it doesn’t feel right or natural for me not to. Even if I wasn’t kin, I would only downgrade myself to a furry or scaly of some sort, dragons are simply too much a part of my inner self to ever abandon.

That middle ground is something that most younger kin seem not to consider much anymore it is always yes or no and that absolutism tends to lead to a polarization of extremes such as either being so skeptical as to abandon the belief or so open minded as to become delusional.

If you are having emotions and feelings on the matter strong enough to cause you emotional pain or conflict, then in my honest opinion and from personal experiences you probably are an otherkin, in which case I would say go with it. You only live once and its best not to be miserable or questioning the whole time. If in the future you eventually determine that you were not kin, then no harm was caused by pursuing the faith or idea that you were. But if it feels natural and answers so much, then why resist it? Memories and awakenings are not the same for everyone, some come in spurts at different times in life, some don’t come at all. It is safe to believe that you are otherkin if it makes sense to your individual experiences, particularly if the emotions or instinct that you are is that strong.

I’d say accept it and see what may come or open up to you in time, but definitely maintain a sense of skepticism. The kin community is full of a variety of personalities and beliefs, many will say you need this experience or that sensation to be legit, but in in the end, its personal, be prepared to defend your feelings, but in all things be true to yourself. Likewise, don’t fall into assumptions, if you wrote a story in which a character was a dragon banished by the gods to earth, don’t fall into the idea of assuming you might have been that dragon. Try not to force or assume memories. If you want to look for them then go lay under a tree and relax in some grass, close your eyes and meditate to see if something might pop up, keep a balance of introspection, open minded, but not so much your brains fall out. Lastly, I’d say be in tune with your kintype or be dragon'y when it feels right and allow it to be just another part of your life, but don't allow it to control your life.

Of course, as a disclaimer I write only from my own experiences and being an otherkin is a subject that is personal to the individual and ones own understandings, it is something that only you can decide, good luck on your journey, take it slow with patience and balance in all things.

Am I Otherkin? :

Quote:
An approximate Question that I once received consisted of:

“My friend thinks I may be dragonkin and I've felt some phantom wings on occasion do you think I might be otherkin?”


Well, the thing with otherkinism is unlike being a furry or assuming an identity it is kind of something you grow into, you typically either are or are not (at varying degrees of course, subject to the personal experiences discovered during awakening or realization) but the point being, that being otherkin is not something that can be declared by a friend or psychic or whatever. It is something you tend to find out on your own over the years and as you grow. What the questioner experienced where phantom wings, which although experienced commonly by some otherkin can easily be manifested at will by anyone through concentration or imagination, they can easily be attributed to placebo and when experienced alone are not necessarily a definite sign or proof of a spiritual shift of sorts.

Bottom line, if you are indeed some form of otherkin you would probably already suspect it in one way or another. Albeit I cannot speak for everyone and I do not know the questioners individual age or circumstance. Personally I had suspicions of my own draconity/otherkinism beginning around the age of eight or nine. (partly triggered by receiving a dragon claw pendant) Early in my youth I had a pretty clear understanding that I wasn't normal spiritually/mentally/emotionally by the age of ten and pretty much knew for sure or at least in my heart by my mid teens that I was not the same spiritually/consciously as some of my peers.

If say for example the questioner were in their late teens, mid twenties or so and are only just now questioning, it is possible they may be caught up in the moment and I would advise to be cautious or to approach the concept with personal introspection and patience.

(Though I advise that mindset for pursuing the concept of otherkinism in general honestly.)

If however the questioner is younger, then hey, who am I to say one way or the other, but please do not give into to impulse or fantasy, as above research, be introspective and most of all know yourself. The main thing is that you need to really look into your personal past and into your heart, if you were a dragon or an otherkin of some sort the signs would likely be there in segments throughout your life. For myself, I had a few recurring dreams or memories of possibly having been a dragon, I had an unnatural attraction to anything reptilian, I was a bit animalistic when nobody was looking, I always had a natural affinity to metaphysics and the spiritual which was socially frowned upon, but was still an interest which I attributed to having knowledge in my heart that this world and life was but one of many. Strange personal traits occurring like that early in youth are uncommon and abnormal, but are a good sign that there is more to your spirit or life then your present mind may know. (Though be aware of possible psychological explanations, be always honest with yourself and seek the truth in all things)

My primary advice would be to explore the matter, if you think you may be an otherkin, what evidence do you have? What type of dragon where you? What did you look like? What where you like? Why do you believe these things? Meditate on it and question everything, don't rely solely on emotion or assumption and while exploring yourself, don't claim with certainty that you were one thing or another.

Ones spirituality is subjective and individualistic and it is always changing as new facts are discovered, for example don't say for absolute certainty that you were one form of dragon or critter without first determining some kind of personal evidence to back it up, otherwise you might later discover that you were really some other type, form, spirit, gender or possibly not even an otherkin at all, always be introspective and patient on this type of matter.

To be safe, I always say that I “perceive” that I “may” have been a black dragon for the very fact that in the end, I can't know for sure, otherkin is an improvable personal faith based belief. Everything is subjective and subject to later discoveries or knowledge as we all mature. I might find out later that I wasn't what I claimed to be in the past, so I try never to speak in absolutes. I might be otherkin, I feel strongly that I was based on my subjective experiences and I will personally identify as a dragon or otherkin, but in the end, who knows? It's always best to be rational and to play it safe.

In all things, keep an open mind and have balance in your opinions. In the yin-yang of whether you were or were not an otherkin you have the white side which says you were once a dragon and you have the black side which says you were not a dragon. I would try to stay always adrift in that center line until you have determined an answer with some certainty. Remember to have patience and balance in all things. Explore some of the communities online, be objective and rational, read what others experienced, see what your own heart and experiences say and then decide rationally for yourself whether or not you feel that you were perhaps truly a dragon or otherkin.

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